Accepting that I will be forever deadnamed in my publications
My name is Silviana Amethyst.
I publish and present my new work with my true name.
I stopped using my previous name, Dani, in the first half of 2018. I stopped using Daniel and Dan in early 2017. I published all of my work from 2010 - 2016 under my deadname. Posters, talks, visits, all sorts of things happened under that name, and there is an unchangeable public record of those events and items.
Often I wonder about whether I am still Daniel. No, is the conclusion I come to more and more. I am not Daniel. If I were, would I now be Silviana Amethyst? Certainly not. And I am no longer Danielle. That time is over.
My early work deadnames me, and there's nothing I can do to 100% change it.
I just want you to know, dear reader, that I am not Daniel. Nor am I Dan, or Dani, or Danielle. If you see any of my old papers, posters, or other things, and you catch a glimpse of my deadname, know that's what it is. My deadname.
My name is Silviana Amethyst.